Always, Always, and Forever

I am so grateful for the closeness I feel to my parents right now. They have really been supportive recently. Months ago I complained that they were not dealing with my beliefs and desires very well at all. My mom had asked me not to talk about anything relating to homosexuality with her, and my dad just reacted so emotionally to anything that he was also unapproachable. They felt like they were going to lose me in the eternities.

Well today my mom accidentally stumbled across my blog in a google search for something that was unrelated to my blog topic. (I have since removed my site from google searches). She left a message on my voice mail asking me a question about something on my blog. I was petrified. I worried that the blog and the opinions I share here would bother her and make her cry as they would have several months ago. When I called her back, though, she was in a good mood and didn’t seem upset about the blog at all.

I am so glad that we can talk about things now. She still does not agree with me, but that’s ok. All I want is to be able to communicate with good feelings. I often worried that my parents would not only believe I would be separated from them in heaven but that they would put that belief into practice and separate me from them here on Earth. If I am really going to be kicked out of the family when I die, is there really a need to kick me out early? I feel assured that this is not going to be the case. I don’t feel like I will be rejected by my parents any more. However sad they may be with current and future choices, I know that they love me and will always support me.

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8 thoughts on “Always, Always, and Forever

  1. It’s interesting that you say this. You’ll be surprised how many MoHos are afraid of this, but then they are the ones who eventually distance themselves from their families. This is because they don’t feel comfortable around them anymore and they don’t want to bring any unnecessary pain upon themselves. It may not seem like this now, but it can happen and I’ve seen and heard it happen all too often.

  2. I’ve found that my parents go up and down with the support. Some months it is really strong, and sometimes they are really unsupportive. What I think the reason for that is that they get used to something (like me being gay, or not being active), and then I tell them something else they struggle with (like me leaving the church). It just takes time for parents and family and friends to get used to the idea that we’re not going to necessarily do what they think is right. I hope your parents continue to support you, despite your disagreements.

  3. OosM, I’m not sure where you are headed with that comment. In my post I said that they didn’t like what I have decided to do.It would be wrong to make important life decisions based on pleasing my parents. I won’t do that. What is important to me is not wether or not there is disappontment in my parents’ eyes, but wether or not there is disappontment in my eyes when I look in the mirror.I am proud of my accomplishments, satisfied with my life, and have no regrets from the choices I have made. When you look in the mirror, is there ever disappointment or regret in your eyes?

  4. I suppose all I was asking (as a sincere question and with no agenda if that’s what you think) was if the love you feel from them is lessened by anything you see behind their eyes. That’s all really.

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