I still receive revelation. I always thought that if I accepted the fact that I am attracted to men I wouldn’t receive revelation. I also thought that if I ever questioned the Church, I wouldn’t receive revelation. Well, today in church, I received revelation. It was just as I have always received it.
I was feeling alright in Priesthood because of something the Bishop said about helping each other out when we feel “BLASTD”- bored, lonely, angry, sad, tired, or depressed. It made me realize how awesome my roommate is at recognizing that in me and in helping me. He’s like the perfect example of what the Bishop said. It also made me realize how I can extend help to others, and how much the support of other mohos means to me.
So because I was feeling good about that, I suppose I was more open to the Spirit. During Conference, I had had a spiritual experience during the song “I Believe in Christ.” It was a beautiful arrangement, and it just made me feel like being Mormon was such a beautiful thing. Anyway, in Sacrament Meeting we sang that song, and all of sudden these words jumped out at me: “I believe in Christ, He stands supreme. From Him I’ll gain my fondest dream. And while I strive through grief and pain, His voice is heard: ‘Ye shall obtain.’“
Yesterday I had a very good, meaningful conversation with my dad, and he told me that he just wants me to be happy. I have had that on my mind ever since. As I have been thinking about happiness, when I sang that line in the hymn, I suddenly realized that I could and would obtain happiness. I don’t know how. I don’t know when. I don’t even know why, but happiness is not some hope we aim for in the afterlife. It is something obtained as part of the mortal experience. That much was revealed to me.
I have other thoughts stemming from this bit of insight, but I think I will leave the post at that.